once upone a time i go i was deeply fatuated with this guy in my middle school home room. he is just the cutest and now i find he's funny. one thing people never do is take chances where just too scared ... i spent 7 years admiring this boy from afar and now he's my best guy friend (BBF) its ben really cool with him. so far almost every night we chat just random stuff mostly about like relationships and people we like you know all that chit chat stuff. well that once upone a time ago i would have given anything for this and more but right now i like just this that once upone a time ago i was lonly for a boy friend( bf) i wanted a guy who liked me thought i was pretty and who made me feel loved. well i got tiered of waiting for that good guy to come around so i found bad guys guys that just whernt right for me check out enteries on my nummber guys yeah thats the mess i got into heh not full detail of couse but still. any who everyone gets into that its helps us grow. but listen this guy lets call him nar nar is just the greatest he really cares i think i feel safe around him and its just cool i love having him as a friend though. when i think of the futur im a little unsure what if my feelngs grow stronger what will he think i know im not really his type i mean where just frieds and even though where cool friends and have a bit in commen its just this feeling i get but i feel like where not ment to be like he's not the one for me. now i get this feeling when i dont talk to him for a while but gods i get so happy and jummpy and squeely when he txts me calls me or we hang out im just at pease withmy self sometimes i get this urg to hug him or hold his hand or snugle close to him but its weird cause where still getting to know eachother you kno. i want to go to school but im not this fall v.v cant aford it and missed the deadline for fassa oh well i gues sux ill just get work i mean really who needs college right now i'll just go around doing jobs and build up some money you know college isnt for every one unforently. and with out moms help i really cant go cause well i need her tax info. SUX! idk nars just been on my mind a lot but i dont have a romantic feeling for him i dont think i mean i always thought when you found someone you realy like your heart races and its like a romance novle LOVE but this this is like mutual and just idk like we like eachother as people but we're still getting to know eachother but he's sweet and awesome and just if he gets another girl i dont mind .. much .. imhappy for him and it feels like sometimes when i date a bit he is happy for me too but also dosnt like it much idk where a mess i guess. it so dosnt help that im listening to love songs ug. i eed to grow up a bit more really i get nervuse and fidgetty around guys wich is so bad!! like i am shy but with guys im even more shy like there all going to hurt me or somethgn and it sucks i also am missing my cuz though i dout he knows i seem to be the only one who cares anymore and he just gose off in his own lil world jhons my bestest best friend and he's family thats why i miss him along with my other sister mom says im getting depressed cause im sleeping too much i think its cause im stuck at home all the time and im not getting out andmeeting new people.... i wana go back to NH and see wolfy again i wana go to school there love it there its so cool and just nice though exspensive :\ take the good with the bad ya know. any who computers been on the frits thats y i havent been on line latly but its better now hope it stays that way lol major in college i wana go for is studio art -sighs - photogarphy love it !! i hope i can go back to school im missing peoples and driving i havent driven in a while nad i dout i'll be driving at all if it snows x.x; oh and rping is great lol its the only thing keeping me sain!!<3 wolfy ty cant wait to take the bus back up againg!!!!oror i could drive up using tomtom!!! i think thats a better idea hope u have room for my car lol flying n the bus are too exspensive its worth it to just drive by your self.but then again the bus isnt compleatly bad.. idk ... depends we'll see once i get the money for it.
well just rambleing on i'm going to go do somethignso im not boringly spewing out my life to the whole net ......BYE lol